psychodrama

Guilty Conscious

2011-07-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

Damn!

Its July, and I think nothing!

(Where were you all this while???)

Freisinn

2011-05-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

The only things reinforced my inspiration nowadays is 'that' dream.

The Running Peripatetics

2011-02-01T04:08:00.000-08:00

It is a simple question.

Why do they, the peripatetics, doing discourse while walking?

As I said before, most of my focus thought, happen while I'm running. That, answers everything. They know, while walking, their blood circulation increases, makes even more glucose and and oxygen reach their brain. Much more important, the cerebral blood vessel can grow, which create advanced ability to concentrate, learn and reasoning.

So they know, the massed they think, the greater mind will be. They know with walking, they actively oxygenate their brain which will grandiose their logical argument and ostentatious the discourse itself!

That is how i fall in love with running (as it differ a lot with walking, haha) and the peripatetics also. Ibn Sina is the most prominent peripatetics follower and criticizer.

And I do addicted, as what I feel before, it is hard to concentrate, even more to reasoning and do logical balancing without running.

The addicted, feels like hydrocodein. That slows you a lot.

Slow is good, sometimes. Cause you need time and space, to relatively embrace your life entirely.

Freshmen - Ver. 6

Healing

2011-01-24T05:22:00.000-08:00

Got ideas for next thesis.

And kind of obsessed right now.

Should be starting drafting this next proposal first; before I can start doing what should I do first.

قلب بين يدي قلب و بيد الله كل قلب

عين ترعى عينا، وعين الله ترعى

كلمة طيبة صدقة

تبسمك لأخيك صدقه

كل معروف صدقة

اللهم اشف شفاءً لا يغادر سقماً

Peripatetics and gnosis of mutakallimun

2011-01-18T05:11:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since my re-definition.

Its been a great time, where the law of taqdeer reincarnate again.

I might not be this strong, without all of these test.

The test itself, rejuvenate and revelate the idea of being.

Why am I being here, the journey that take this soul through the peripatetic path showed me the real world of the animal soul.

I am gratitude for being given the chance to see and actualize the world of 'animal soul' by myself. Backstabbers, sabotagers, complainers is all by means, to freed me from that world.

To be actualize, is to learn.

Learn not to be animals. Learn to forgive. Learn to accept people what they are. And learn to be freed as fast as you can. (Cause God may have give you the oppurtunity behind the test!)

Within the light of effort of rational and spiritual training, I praise that Allah could shadow me towards the actualize soul.

Playing God Part Two

2010-11-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

Why not we start with God?

Lets start with God first. Because God is important in this story. Why?

Let me explain.

When we talk about God, it encompass within the good things. The real question is, is it true that God do play only the good character?

Second things is, when we choose to talk about God, we tend to forget about the limits that God has and the errors occurs when they playing God.

Because we've witnessed, the experiment occured sometimes create 'reactional God'. In this play, or story, or whatever kind of 'sceptical' values you want to put it, 'reactional God' only ruined the plot that being draft earlier.

The idea of God, produce the convergence, spreading values around the world, I think is one of the failure ideas being installed inside us.

(this is the fundamental issue of the God, wait for the character assasination by the 'God' in the next entry)

Show the carricature the path that 'you' want!

2010-11-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

So everybody gets excited with my story.

Finally, that draw the attention!

Good, because this is what i've been waiting for so long!

The time where, everybody gets infuriate and instigate within the story.

I can make the story even exhilarate, what do they only want is to gossiping about the character.

Lets give what they want.

Because in the end, everybody will gets nothing.

Good luck!

Playing God

2010-11-08T01:39:00.000-08:00

Can't make my own decisions or make any with precision
Well, maybe you should tie me up so I don't go where you don't want me
You say that I've been changing, that I'm not just simply aging
Yeah, how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat

You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror

If God's the game that you're playing
Well, we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely... to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion, but it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view, if the only thing you see is you

This is the last second chance

I'm half as good as it gets

I'm on both sides of the fence

Without a hint of regret...

(p/s: paramore's playing god)

Private Entry Part 1

2010-11-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

(Now, you on your own.)

Its not my type, to write or complaint about my private feeling.

Even most of my writing, comes from my sensitivity.

It is difficult to understand, when people misunderstood my writing and correlate them with my private life.

Because I write of what I see, not what do I feel.

That is why, most of my writing contain other thoughts also - seeking balance from what do I feel that time.

Denial? No. Proof to me, which entry did I mention about you.

You cant, right?

p/s; its all about seeing others,and finally you forget about you, yourself. damn! it happens when our hope is growing. and i dont feel sorry about that, because this is 'the law of taqdeer', always show us path when we choose to hope. (and finally; this is not off-topic entries)

'deus absconditus' over the 'deus revelatus'

2010-10-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

'The thing itself' over the 'manifest object'.

When Agamben working on his messianic aspects of the notion of the remnants, he use the code 'Musselmann' to denote 'passive prisoner who had given up, had no consciousness or conscience, or despise and not object of sympathy, and was a mere staggering corpse, a bundle of physicality of no consequence' (Agamben, 1999).

Agamben argue that racism is the process by which biopower intervenes (surely following Foucault) and marks breaks within the continuum of humanity and reintroduce the principles of war into the system of 'making lives'.

This 'Musselmann' which is referred to Moslem, was used at Auschwitz.

Whether Agamben realize that the 'Musselmann' he created is 'deus absconditus' over the 'deus revelatus'; only he knows (surely in constant consciousness he accept the idea, might he?).

But most interesting angle to be double re-view is the way Agamben see 'Musselmann' and created Auschwitz where they consent the human of inhuman of 'Musslemann'.

'deus absconditus' over the 'deus revelatus'; is the big picture of all phobia around us.

This is life. Just compromise the pain. There should be only one road.

They might echoed you in circle. But being the-not-you is the only way to be 'you'.

Insomnia

2010-10-07T08:14:00.000-07:00

[Am I infected because of your smile?]

"Difficulty initiating or maintaning sleep", "disoders sleep literature", "transient", "short term", "chronic", it all conjunct only with literal meaning.

I dont even care if I cant sleep at all, or my body becomes weak after all.

Because what do I care right now is my vein, which infected by this functional impairment.

It is in my vein.

(so that my brain cannot stop working)

p/s: and I love this feeling!

Salir corriendo

2010-10-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

(Make a run for it.)

I just cant deny, most focus thoughts I could ever made is always when I'm in a 'run'.

“Energy expenditure is directly proportional to how much you go up and down. If you can minimize up and down movement, you can lower your energy expenditure. The more you lean forward when you run, the more it adds a horizontal component to your energy usage.” - Vern Vanderbuilt

Vern Vanderbuilt works as a rocket scientist at Nasa. Besides improve emotional state, 'running' also can reverse aging. As Wikipedia state;

as many participants in the sport report feeling an elated, euphoric state, often referred to as a "runner's high". - Boecker H et al., Cereb Cortex (2008); 18(11)2523–31. The Runner's High: Opiodergic Mechanisms in the Human Brain

And I never thought I would fall in love with - 'runner's high'. Since when do I started 'salir corriendo'?

I cant give damn exact answers; all I can say is; I run because I cant fall asleep.

Insomnia - happened because your brain cant stop working. I just want to focused it.

So I make a run for it.

p/s: I hope 'she' will understood - off-topic.

Running

2010-10-02T00:45:00.000-07:00

It almost a year since I start running.

Many thought it would be a release, escapism tool. I realize since it going to be my new passion, its only just a dream.

For nearly three years before I couldnt understand why do people keep on running. And it falls on me today where I have to put effort; time and energy to start a running.

This is probably not a beginning, though not the end also.

Yeah, it is a simple trick where people do maintain their fitness. Besides that, I feel much more energetic when the end of a running is only a beginning of the whole idea of 'run' itself.

People may run for their stamina, to escape from something, to release what feeling they have, or they can run to change their lives.

I have to keep on running. She left me here with unnoticed. If its not a dream, I have to catch up real quick.

Wishing to have enough energy and time; I hope she will be waiting.

p/s: off-topic; thank God for this passion!

Neoplatonic Verses

2010-09-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

My deepest sorry in my life is I hate my degrees. The real cause is simply because i gain it without my passion.

I find inssufferable if, you are force to do something you dont want to do.

Force is not only a calculation of proportional acceleration or derivative momentum; far beyond this quantitative definition, force left us with uncertainty mistrust of energy.

And the best things is; only passion can drive your energy towards your devoir.

I prayed for studying philosophy, economy, literature or theology.

Allah has granted me one (syukran for the light and path You've shown me) but my passion is thirst.

In my research I can only study on particular people with full limitation of academic restriction.

But my brain (I think) have no limitations. And I have to use my thirst to escape from my 'life of force' which I inherit from my degrees.

Work without passion is useless.

Seek passion.

Or you'll die artificially.

Euphoria

2010-09-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

Its just a matter of time.

When the lights will come and pouring rainy shine of euphoria;

The moment will stop, the point is uncalculated, that particular epoch will never be counted anymore.

So long past memories;

Its just a matter of time.

Where happiness finally entered.

And you refrain yourself.

(Off-topic; so be it)

Grafton Street 2

2010-09-05T23:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we do transversely athwart a lines where we don't understand much.

Where things never be the same. This path, where people less travelled, always astonish us.

And before the worst, before too late, before it all went wrong, we have to make a move.

In Grafton Street, where you have less options with broken heart and misconception of love along with unguided path, just think to stop.

If there is no room to stop, create a causality where you should stop for a minutes.

In Grafton Street, its alway a corner where you can rejuvenate the whole ideas of being free. Stop for a moment at that corner and please start to rethink double wise.

Allah would test you whenever you could coerce the force, but believe me, Allah also will sent poeple to help you.

Slow down when you walk into Grafton Street. Stop if you can, and began to rethink.

The path will rise if you could only think wisely.

Resuscitate

2010-09-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

It is a simple trick; say crush you didnt know them and; praise for love.

Relationship is hard when real politics involved.

When Ludwig von Rochau presenting real politics as 'realpolitik' in German, what exactly he doesnt know that Otto von Bismarck had advocate this modest policy in order to achieve Prussian dominance in Germany; long ago before he realizes that terms.

So realpolitik is only an improve term of Machiavellan's policy. Pragmatic, Realist, Practical Consideration; all of them is only a term which is improvised later.

In relationship where real politics applied; resuscitation is always needed. By the time someone realize that the love they worshipped is only a crush; they start to lie.

I do lie. And I bet you do too!

Off topic; resuscitating affection cannot bring love because love is purely love, full stop.

Stuck

2010-08-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

The wind blows, the air breezes, the trees are dancing, the sun is shining, the sea is waving, the mountain are smiling,

but I'm stuck.

The clock is ticking, the earth is spinning, the heart is pumping, the machines are working, the people are busying,

but I'm stuck.

Is it my nerves, or my brain, or my senses that has been shut down?

Life will never run out of batteries. Learn to let it go. That way peace will hunt you down.

Full Moon

2010-08-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

We've been sharing the same moon tonight.

Full moon, where do all couples praying to being fertile; myths that rooted in Assyrian folklore.

Or by misconception; the lunar phase which correlates towards mental illness, crime, suicide or even werewolves.

I've been teaching today that if I'm look inside; I have to open my eyes and start to re-think about my heart and minds; the truth can no longer be hide.

Let the sin surprise us, keep it close to you - so that you can still remember which way to go forward.

This short failures; biases false start; should no longer be a precondition of a single success.

Let me make my chance again.

Unintended, I'm apology again for this fortitious attempt.

Off-topic again; this is full moon right? That lunar effects do not have enough study on how the tide can affects 'us'.

Flip Flop

2010-06-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

I've seen this words several times.

Constantly you can catch up with this at shopping complex where sandals and shoes available.

So may I say; flip flop is a thong.

Thong.

What is a thong actually?

Is it verifiable? How do you see a 'thong' in your perspective?

Campamento - in Spanish - or verdadero - is simple as genuine.

I said - flip flop - is not only a name of a thong.

Flip flop may be a government.

Again; off topic.

No More Love; Sorry.

2010-06-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

Is it time to stop loving or;

Love is no more lucratively lure?

I do believe in magnetism of attraction which is always fascinate me in many ways.

But simply right now I do feel akwward about this. Love. Is it real that love is bona fide?

I dont feel so alone. Unfeigned, right, I am still thinking of you tonight.

But...

The postcard sounds; dont sleep in two days and, love is no more.

I'm blink in heavy wings.

Self Destruct Mode

2010-06-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

Come back fighting whenever life throws you.

My mom used to pray for me. I believe in her. But if my world wish to turn upside down; can I blame her?

It is real to sell idea but to conquer the whole picture of self-destruct mode in ourselves - your own soul; Monday can make you sweat.

Life is good when we conquer them. The real conquer is when you - have to think double wise.

Off topic.

Attack

2010-06-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

There is a difference between attack and indulge I think.

It is simple clear that someone might indulge their attack.

And pretty lovely to see others quintessential art of defense while the other party attack.

So I pick attack in order to defend wisely.

Because defend is the worst part of character assasination.

Paying Toll

2010-05-19T04:19:00.000-07:00

Wondering whether sunrise is going to save a chance - or steroid - gentamycin would digest all this enormous bill stop paying toll - so everyone could see my heart beating.

See through my chest.

I wait a long time to ask my chance - in forgiveness - or in vain.

Trachoma - so my nerves would endure chlamyde various strength.

I preferably wait a long time for this.

Charge-up.

Life without hand and leg

2010-04-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

It comes to me, Verve by who I believe it is propulsively illustrate; stage fright.

So now I know, how God by their own will, let human live; in such their own way.

It is difficult if you think that way.

Others might see you unreal - but the real is - you choose your own path.

It is repudiate to ask God to fulfill our needs, but to have a plan, the God is standing near.

Listen to your own soul.

Let others laugh at you.

God is hearing. Just ask, plainly.

And plan your life.

The Law of 'Takdir'

2010-02-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

I believe Allah has create path for us in life.

That is why we see some people might be so propitious apart from us, but some might be very unlucky.

The problem with us is the translation we made when we cross the path.

People with force, will reflect the light parallel through their axis and grasp the fortune.

People without forces, will blinded by the vector of risk and the scalar of 'takdir' - and being pushed by the Archimedes principles.

So life if not simple as Bernoulli's, the current velocity people would adapt is measured by not whom are they or how rich their wealth - but by their experience.

This will become much more psycho.

My premises is; if people born to propagate the history, and wipe out barbarianism with modernize the way borjuis democrate people; it is a shameful to address a history as a history.

Human finally adapt democracy as their God and think economy as their messenger.

So when economy failed, does they turn towards democracy or what?

The path is economy and economy is the path.

I am learning for my own health of economy and I am recently adjusting - the velocity of the pressure.

The path that should I attain right now is closely accelerate. Should I attend to the precaution?

All I need is the support. And I am losing it all right now.

Grafton Street

2010-02-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

Its time to think about this.

We will be happy, if we can bring happiness itself, from us to others.

Its not something difficult to learn that, if you can make someone happy, that makes you feel great too.

This is a simple logic, that I learn't for almost two years but blindly realize by me.

To become completely conscious, apprehend or grasp the notion of being happy by making people happy is an illusion.

Worst if hypothetically speculate the idea itself, but in life, as an audition , there is nothing wrong to preassumption.

We can save others life. There is so much unbalance of economical stage surround us. But to be honest and feel pity is another part.

You can put your feet in other shoes, but that simply cannot expunge or obliterate the root of the problem itself.

This is the time for me to 'muhasabah' and rethink about others. I've feel the strike when there is no money at all.

I've undergo the ambiance where people keep on pressuring when there is no toleration. I personally also keep on seeing and come across some people that could slow down and softened the pressure.

My word this time is, just dont give up.

Allah would test you whenever you could coerce the force, but believe me, Allah also will sent poeple to help you.

Slow down when you walk into Grafton Street. Stop if you can, and began to rethink.

The path will rise if you could only think wisely.

Explosive

2010-01-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

The good thing about this issue is - people start to think about it.

My question is - why now?

Then I start to realize that, certain madhab have prerogative type of solution in case of screening.

And the bad thing about government is - issues raised by non-Malay is normal and should carried by law.

This thing - blowing the church could be stop if the case do not enter the court.

An I believe, as a government which judiciary and executive power can be describe as grey areas - they have the power to stop certain issues to be move or not.

So non-Islam can saw us as a bad men. Sensitive. Cannot follow the rule. And others.

But do they answer our question?

Why only now they want to use the word Allah?

And most worst part is - political animal.

And the Wahabis also.

p/s - can someone show me which path they took in order to saw Allah as others God too?

Eulogy - again.

2009-12-20T09:54:00.000-08:00

Finally its been a good thing to question - love.

Since my dark ages - love - has taught me a spiraling perfect symmetry semi-ended particular; sincere labyrinth.

I believe for some reason, God create 'love' for human to keep investigate their heart.

In such phenomenon, our school of thought denied the plagiarism encrypt under our mind.

So we keep seeing the word of love through the dimension project by others.

Its beautiful to see others - don't understand on how they capitalized and paralyzed by these verbal crunch of tech-gizmo - philanthropist.

My eulogy is simple - we can opt to be so sceptic and old school - hypocrite others and feel the feeling.

But most feeling - as we conjunct above - if hijacked by our supersonic plagiarism id and superego unconscious mind - love is just as love we were taught by others.

My version of others is; orientalist.

Love is about getting naked and transparenting the truth. (if words tranparenting is consider as a word)

Love is all nothing but question. Not taqleed.

Indoors

2009-12-16T23:14:00.000-08:00

Finally, it's over.

Check your posses, do you listening?

Others 'gaffe' and 'faux pas'

2009-12-15T20:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we lost track in our smooth path.

Sometimes we face a lift in fast moving train of time machine.

Sometimes we beg to come back where we should be.

Some in times, God paint great structure of concrete called architectural dementia - just to remind us - that our canvas of life is so thin - anything can happen.

Because time is so short, and we do keep doing sins, should we cycle our interlude phase of interval 'taubat'?

Wrongdoings is everywhere.

Every single angle moment of time, we keep paranoid of others mistakes.

And do nothing about our 'gaffe' and 'faux pas'.

And keep on praying 'taubat' when maghreeb prayer comes.

What about your pace right now?

2009-12-03T11:09:00.000-08:00

Someone suddenly ask me this;

How about your reading pace right now?

How many books do you read in a week?

This man really shock me. It's been a year since I've been counting my days on a book.

How on earth can I elapsed this focal weight in daily rupture? Since I am reading too slow right now, select purely on my static paradigm, it will shift my thoughts.

Pace is about seeing the world without time. So reading is a group activity caused by unidentified isle of mind.

I have to keep up my pace into a super-normal phase right now so that I could travelled as far as I should.

This December is very crucial for me, I have no time to waste as my target is not reachable yet.

To read and write again, hope to feel better and normal again tomorrow, after a year.

This is not the explanation of this so called named blog!

2009-11-28T08:05:00.000-08:00

For those who are new here, I am really sorry about the last two entry that shouldn't be posts here.

But that is life, for sure.

It is most of my time, I have to act as an actor. Keep another heart there, and another there. Tomorrow one more, next week any more.

So I called these - psychodrama.

Don't ever judge me then.

I believe everyone - including you - in whatsoever ways - do play your own drama.

It is not us, that on every time is right.

Can we just straight - we were wrong sometimes at the wrong time and very wrong places?

My secret is, escapism. If you do love or have one, you actually the director of your own play.

So you can choose what character you want, or which fragment you would take.

Its not compunction or repentance.

Its just guilt.

Gratifying Juniors

2009-11-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

We had this stunning dinner last two weeks, celebrating our lecturers which have been taught us all over the judicious astuteness of the pedagogical thingy.

It all went well, besides some of us being late and cause some of the irregularity over the conduct of that night.

But the big story in excess that night is the attitude of our junior. We were about to handle a dinner which probably causing a costly moment of money inside us. There's doubtless not a big deal. In addition, we reallly need our junior to play a band which if we hired the hotel's band almost costly near RM 700.

And whats good then is, there is a band in our maktab which played by our own junior. I preferably think they will do us a favor in order sent us off pleasingly.

On the contrary then, they said they have to charge us nearly RM500, bargained by us which have to cover up the cost, they affirm the total RM 200 for only 45 minutes play.

2 days before the dinner starts, they come again to us and said they need another RM 200. Our committee starts meeting and final decision is we cancelled to hired them because of the principle status.

Firstly, when we ask them to help us in our memorabilia night we convey them to onjoy sent us off besides get pleasure from insintrically have a pills of music.

When they said they need to charge us, fine when we affirm the first term of RM 200. Then they need more.

The thing about principles we cant account from them is, they play like a big band and asking for more. When we do really need a favor and seeking help from juniors, they bite us like a wild dog hunting for a bigger meat.

This is life man. If you have no money, dont ask for help. Even is they are your juniors.

This happened in our life of so-called 'maktab'. It do happen anywhere I believe.

So what the big deal of junior and senior thingy?

Bullshit.

Alter Ego

2009-11-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

No, I know nothing about friends. But this time, this Chihuahua type of thesaurus gives me the synonym of friends.

Alter Ego.

So what?

I should say nothing, write triple void of trifle about this thing which should not occur. Since it happen now, no penitential of mournful melancholy should anyone say.

We were about to offshore over the next weekend, organised and whipped all by our own towards Pangkor. Since there is a 1 night programmed, the setting is could be septicemia as a stimulant medicament remedy to us.

Since it is about 5 years, so we were very exultant gratified to wait for that day.

For me, it is nothing but about appreciation. This is the time to show them, the friends which were all caring and be with me for over the last 5 years.

But then, 1 person come up with foolish ridicule mentality enlightened by Hammurabbi I should say, ringing up the bell about 'cannot ride with the boys car because my pakwes so jealous and could serang you anytime'!

How in the hell, with cars are set up carefully from the beginning 'that' person direct everyone to salute the order from her 'pakwes' which even now I think is know nothing about this trip?

Even if it is hell, 'that' person is at no risk in riding 'berdua-duaan' in the boys car. 5 cars, 4 driven by boys and 'that' person are giving direct order to be included in the first car without knowing that the girl driver is having their own companion for that day.

I've been thinking about this over a time, but to write it down here is very cheap childish type of salvation I think. But this time is no more to think, even 'that' said something about me and my companion which 'kononnya' should not be touch by anyone because of my attitude. 'That' person finally advised others to not ride with me that time.

Cool. That is very cool man.

You don't even engaged but been controlled super-fornicately by your so called soul-mate.

Cool, for me that is very cool.

But please don't annoying others. Enough is enough. Don't let people cursing on you like this.

You are a burden right now for others.

People are not born to burden others. But life is life. Even it is called friends.

That's why I don't believe in friends.

There is no such thing as a genius.

2009-10-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

This theory brought up by my father.

My job is to write it down here, so that I'll remember it someday or someone will read it tomorrow.

He says, rich people who tend to study abroad or send their family to further their schooling foreign is not a genius.

Outside university is so afraid to failing their students. They know, this type of people, generations, sons of a rich family which is sometimes ruling their country will someday comeback to their country and continue as the next ruler.

There is no such way to control the country, unless grab this type of family and award them with 'botox kind of plastic' education or inject them with diplome of silicon so as the people trust them afterwards.

Today, there is no urgency of sending people abroad unless you have nowhere to spent off the money.

This type of tittle-tattle theory rise up for picturing the scale of how some sort of group of people (usually politicians and capitalist) play the chess on how to manage the lower and middle class people.

So the lower and middle class people is not going to have the oppurtunity to get into the upper class.

West (read foreign universities) know how to shaped the world. This time, they control the education system so that they can hold our heart.

The reality is, there is extremely enormously no such things as a genius out there.

Think smart and earn what you really work on to. And don't forget to pray.

Alma Mater and the Georgous Hammurabi

2009-10-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

Hammurabi when enacted the famous-amos his well preserved code of law state in preface; "Anu and Bel called by name me, Hammurabi, the exalted prince, who feared God, to bring about the rule of righteousness in the land."

Referred to Professor Madya Hadji Wiki-al-Pedia, it is believed the code is often pointed to be a primary example of even a king not being able to change fundamental laws concerning the governing of a country which was the primitive form of what is now known as a constitutional.

Constitutional, I believed is a single para pharase. It is prerogative, always consent with stereotypo of your welstanchaaung.

Only if you believe in it, or you have one.

In these groovy 5 years, my 'maktab' has been transformed through a process call Witwicky and changed his name to a five star classy called Institute.

What a changed then! We were so proud of it. Even we have to get used to called ourselves 'mahasiswa' rather than 'pelatih maktab' before.

Adjacent to this, the name is only a name. Maktab is changed to Institute and afterwards to IPGM 'Kampus Ipoh'. But the facility and the services is the same as before it changed. Nothing 'mega' construction was develope due to this changing of industry.

The library, so sorry for that, is too small and less books. It is far beyond the faculty library I think. No faculties with severe number of doctorate lecturers, it is a shame I believe.

People start talking, even Malaysian Qualification Agency raised the issue what have been done for us by the government if the changes is only up to the name and the facility remain stay as a Diplome institution.

Facility is outdated and outnumbered. KPLI students now have to borrowed the next school classes as their 'bilik kuliah'. The freshies is growing bigger with 18 classes and no one taking action to preserved the idea of having a 'Dewan Kuliah' here.

More seriously injured, mentality of the lecturers and the students are not up to date. Referring to our variation of adjustment in the political areas and the fast flip of tech crunch on the other side of the world, it is simple nihil to see our students movement only being move by the administration, not by themselves.

Todays 'mahasiswa' of IPGM is conjuncted with plagiarize and hedonism.

We hear nothing they said in order to react with the national or world issues. They read a less books than a standard 5 year students read.

In an absolute unadorned uncomplicated words, they are doing nothing. But they are our future generation of the so called 'teachers'.

I remembered Dr Mahathir said in the newspaper last month, students should have alma-mater towards their institution where they studied, in order to thanks them for giving the oppurtunity to gain knowledge and experienced.

But here, we are stressed out with the so called 'maktab's Hammurabi code in example; passed up your security card wherever you want to go even if you just want to bought chekodok at the stall in front!

In Asia, University Malaya can obtained only on the 38 rank. How about our IPGM in the next year ranking?

There is no such way I think. So it is totally useless to think about the alma-mater.

Its all about the code. Hammurabi, thanks for consent the paradigm.

Conventional, what would it be in tomorrow?

2009-10-15T01:13:00.000-07:00

What would it be in tomorrow?

It is good in old days if our house equipped with a set of television. Then every house have one.

After a years, internet come in handy and very common. Every house adopt that scheme, anyway.

Today, internet followed us everywhere. As close in our pocket, everybody shares everything they do and publish everything.

You can tell whether you are drinking the Kopi Janda at that janda coffee house or driving back to Segamat to fetch your wives or you are currently fighting in your shopaholic relationship.

Everywhere the wireless connection adhere, you can flipping fast through Google Fast Flip e-magazine in order to shopping the need of information or swallow the news beta through Google News or even twittering between the news headline.

Everything comes in very handy. I even more nervous seeing this blogger-ing junky keeping changed every summer falls, the dashboard or even the composed mode.

Then I feel skipping backward in these crunch of tech gizmo, albeit I am the one who pioneer in doing blogging among my friends.

My Twitter account suddenly being suspended without I'm posting anything and asking me to reset my password recently.

So again, when everyone has adopt a blog today, I'd rather leave it as a blank fragment in an idea of exceptional conventional.

People blogging and facebooking via their mobile right now, and I'm still captive in this junk of hot steamed-iron computer called laptop.

Fables That Feeble Like Twitter

2009-10-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for so long in my life, to get travel.

Vladivostok is my hope, even though it is impossible to get there in another 5 years.

For sure, I've been praying to get there in my 'doa' at Masjidil Haram last year.

I'm also dreaming, someday somehow, to earn my doctorate far-far away from my hometown, exactly Tanjong Malim (albeit you are such a gorgeous historian small city, hehe).

I believe, to be a good citizen, there is no such way of synthesizing hyperbole your experience.

Experience is not to be tell tall. It is not a fables that feeble like twitter.

Experience is about gaining ideas by pumping your whole weltanschauung.

Reading is one of them. Another will not moving if you sit still.

Congratulation to my members which make it to Warwick, United Kingdom last week. God sent you there off some reason.

Gain your experience and come back as a good citizen.

Otherwise, you are not wise enough to fulfill God's plan in you.

Falling into pieces

2009-09-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

They say bad thing happened for a reason.

Heaven Forbid - The Fray

2009-09-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

Twenty years, it's breaking you down
now that you understand there's no one around
Take a breath, just take a seat
you're falling apart and tearing at the seams

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It's on your face, is it on your mind
would you care to build a house of your own
How much longer, how long can you wait
It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one

p/s: youtube here

Dont know why

2009-09-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

Its been a great al-Quds day (last Friday of Ramadhan), been prayed at Masjid India with lots of people enthusiast placing themselves on a petite undersized hall.

Feels like at Masjidil Haram, whereas people compete to fulfill their duty 5 times a day.

Its been a year I dont have a chance to experience this type of feeling, where people struggling fighting and contending to completing their duty in the atmosphere of ignorance.

That, feels good.

At some other point of location, I've been throwing with 'selipar' at the light railway transit entrance.

This incident, bring tears when the last taraweeh of this year performed later that night.

Again, its been a long time since I never really cried like babies.

But that, feels good too.

I dont know why.

p/s: They say, wait for tomorrow and everything will be alright..I dont think that will remain the 'feels good' enigma again. This time, its sour.

Message

2009-09-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

What if I say, the future is not ours?

In history, people damanded the eminance in order to reach glory.

But, the ideas is still the same.

Good versus revolting disgusting obnoxious.

Thats why we see difference is a good at some point, and very nasty vile at some perspective.

Lets see, in Ghadir Kum, people preferably see the deficient angle besides thinking judicious about that vista landscape of occurrence.

My word - super-taqleed is an object of hyperbole for people which is abandoned the message bought to us by this incident.

That is why, I am preferably saying that the future is gone.

Life is so psyche that our mind cannot intercept the message nowadays.

The Cellist of Sarajevo

2009-09-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

Its been 5 months, since I buy this book and finally, I've ended up reading it, today.

The Cellist of Sarajevo.

How in the world could I reading such a novel with only 227 pages in a long-strecth of 150 days?

In spite of this, this is a good book, albeit I would not recommend it to others.

The story consist of three main character which is Arrow; young Sarajevan girl acting as a sniper for the city's army, Kenan as a civilian with his bottles for water and Dragan, an old man usually work at the bakery.

Than the writer divided the story into four chapter, each based purely by the monologue and the narration of their story when the war between men at the hills and the men at the cities happened.

There is no climax and readers should conclude the story themselves because the closing part is being left by the writer as a 'tautology'.

In fact, the cellist which should become dominant in this story is only a small fragment where he is only added because of the real incident ensue after 22 days mortar shells struck a people lined up queuing to buy bread behind the market on Vas Miskina on 27 May 1992.

I dont expect much from Steven Galloway, above and beyond I have used this type of narration (using character to speak) in my anti-PPSMI novel which is short-listed as the best 4 in the 2008 HSKU last year.

But I feel sorry because I need the temptation, the value added in the scenario to see things in real and I dont see that this time.

I get nothing about Sarajevo besides the place names, I know nothing about their culture and I really feel that this book cannot fulfill my thirstiness of touch the ambiance texture of writers atmosphere.

Thats because I think Steven Galloway was not born at Bosnia and not being there when the war started.

Simple moral this time is, don't buy the books which being narrate by the foreign writers.

Or else, you just ended up reading a simple idea of his perspective only.

Independence?

2009-08-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

What is so big deal about to be a nationalist?

I'm asking you, are you really patriotic?

Aficionado

2009-08-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

Reading is not a hobby, or part time agenda for me. Reading is a must, a job I should fulfill in order to reach my goal.

Years ago, I think it is impossible to read an English book. Besides of other Malay books line up queuing, I met Timesquare Border's sale at the end of that year. There, I met with Alchemist, Paulo Coelho's Saga.

Alchemist has changed the climate, my ambiance of reading. Start with Paulo Coelho, I moved towards Khaled Hosseini. Again, I become addicted with The Kite Runner and his Thousand Splendid Sun.

My next hunt begin with The Witch of Portobello, where I become fanatics towards Coelho's work.

Right now, in the middle of reading Steven Galloway The Cellist of Sarajevo and Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes, I come across with Orhan Pamuk Nobel Prize winner, My Name is Red at Alamanda's MPH.

On 2008 only, i've spent more than RM 800 for buying the books and I have no regret about filling up the learning process (instead of RM1200 honorarium thingy)

The most attractive, motivating and appealing things about reading those novels is the additional culture being fragmented and slip beautiful inside the story.

I really learned about Taliban and Afghan things inside Khaled Hosseini's works. And now I hope I could learn something from the one and only Turkey Nobel Prize winner.

The best part of literature is, when you giving up the whole night spending time evolving with the character of that story, that enthusiast will lead you into the imagination. That imagination will spark the pseudo-mind of yours and keep you uncaptive.

The art of reading, is an aficionado.

Contaminate the Language

2009-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

Two years back, when I was trying communicate, even using only 'SMS' in English, I was dump by 'friends' and being accused such as 'contaminate' the language itself.

I know, this 'friends' is better in many ways rather than me in English language. I feel nothing that time, reconsidering my way of contaminate and pollute the language itself is the only way that I can learn.

But that gone as history. Time goes by and I feel sorry for being sentimental.

And things change, maybe. My intention, after reading several English novels and being addicted, I have to ascertain new technique in order to catch up things quickly.

Write is my passion, eventhough I don't really spent much time writing, this infatuation is deeply calm my soul.

When I thought back, the time when I set up this blog, it is purely associated with my enthusiast.

Because of that, I extremely stop thinking about 'grammar' and keep on writing.

I am really sorry, if some of you could not accept my writing as real, good English.

My objective is to write for my own, as an exercise to script my minds and keep it uncaptive.

So when I was keep on thinking back what people think about me years ago, I would say; Uncaptive.

Practicum

2009-08-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of my practicum.

I would say it is a real relieve, finally it end. But much more I feel right now is a blended emotion, I'm not ready yet to leave this school. The teachers which were my true friend, the students that might not be able to see me again and the motivation I could not finished for them is haunting me.

After enormous notable fight for about 6 weeks, this is the closing stage, the last part of my teaching practice.

After getting ready for about five years theoretically, this is the sincere, most authentic feeling I would sense emotionally about 'school', 'student' and 'teaching'.

Isn't something missing before this?

Here, after this unsurpassed remarkable 6 weeks dealing with gizmo students like Wazir, finally I'd been given the chance to touch the texture of the school atmosphere.

School is isn't about getting ready with Lesson Plan and 'Alat Bantu Mengajar' only, furthermore it reflect the character of the social background of our nation.

Teachers would teach, students can learn, but to build the character, the passion to teach, the enthusiast to learn, is much more important.

For a trainees like me, nothing more important than our majestic 'buku RPH' and the portfolio. I don't give a damn about it, I am no longer craze about marks. Instead of completing that task, it is real out there that trainees should be pro-active, having a strong relationship with school and the most important mission is trying to appreciate the students, absorb their emotion and strongly work out with them to create their potential.

I've been given several task there, which I should thanked the administrator because believing in me to do the job. The task is carried out successfully with the help of the other trainees. By the way, my objective for this practicum besides having faith in this sacred students is to feel and prepared myself for fit the situation, atmosphere at the real time profession as a teachers. This task finally help me alleviate to assist myself in order to understand the school system and how they operate themselves.

I would be left my heart today, in order to thanked the chance and belief everyone gave me there. It must have been a great 5 years of theoretical classes, but not a single minutes I spent at this school to compare of.

What do I learn most is, have faith in these students, and they will have faith in you.

This is what teachers are for.

(For a trainees which sometimes work as a part-timer complaint staff-usually post-grad one, stop narrate gigantic fairy tales about your profession before you ended out being teacher trainees. We no longer talking about the past, you choose this as your destiny, act like what you should, follow the pattern and stop complaining like you are the alien from the Pluto which never know about the system of school and 'maktab' tradition. I'm bored to death listening tall tales about your 'past' job, we no longer interested to know much more out of the education field. This is why, I believe people, lecturers and teachers are condemning the type of group like you!)

Take another pills and tell another lies.

2009-08-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

Time is uni-lateral form of force for us.

Great, engrave exquisite fine dimension equipped with scenic pleasing picturesque of a moment, minute by minute.

Time is passing by after me. I am already 24, jobless, undergraduate, penniless, unhealthy and much more.

All this while, I believe hiding is the best show I can set up, and everything will be alright. After several years, I found the keys through my soul.

Hiding cannot bury my history. The darkest momentum of my life, the real inertia that lead me here today, cannot lose my heart.

After a long on going process, I learn a simple maneuver; life is so real, physically existing, not artificial, absolute bona fide.

Do accept the rise and down of our own luck, the existent of our life is downloaded by the authenticity of our ideas.

Don't fuck your history. Nothing shame about the unfeigned genuine of your true personality.

You are what you are.

People know about that.

Galoh Chendera Kirana 'Shaer'

2009-08-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hati rosak, hanchor binasa,
Sa-makin difikir makin terasa,
Sunggoh bernyawa hidup di-seksa,
Anggota tuboh rasa ta'kuasa.

Sebab sedeh-ku di-ini masa,
Hati dan jantong rasa binasa,
Tiada sa-kali dapat sentosa,
Begini takdir Yang Mahakuasa.

This stunning verse of 'shaer' is being recite by Galoh Chendera Kirana in Hikayat Panji Semirang. Beautiful, in psychodrama called life, we do recite our verse in sarcastic poetry every angular moment we act.

I really believe, to sense our great responsibility and courage to think in a simple calculated advancement, do have faith in politics.

Suddenly, people called me youngsters, that my youth life right now has nothing to do with politics, government, demonstration and so on.

This real enigma, hypnotized me in a reality of semi-circled world of hypothesis.

People out there, youth, moderate, old and some intellectual, doesn't care about our own care-takers - that it is called government.

This side of views, some of them were my lecturers, my colleagues, my teachers, my sisters and brothers, my students, were closing their eyes to see nothing depraved and debauched of this merciless life of cruelty politics.

But then across my mind such thing as, if thinker, academician and scholar do give up with them, why would me wasting a lot of energy saving this fueled fortitude?

What about nothing?

2009-08-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

What is the relationship between preserving the ISA and Daulat Tuanku?

I don't really understand this.

Eventhough I'm not affectionate with the 'Abolishing ISA Mass', I critically think that conservation of that ISA is nothing to do with our Tuanku.

ISA is being used by government to established their power authority warrant. Simple as they mis-used that act.

That act, for me is good for us, 1 Malaysia. Please be colour blind in this case, our scenario is different with other countries.

In this nation of racism, multiple race is asking for more, to a large extent of what we could face of. The act, ISA is a mechanism to control the stability of the people.

In case of the government mis-used that piece of enacment, why not we march peacefully towards the street.

But to abolish that legislature thingy, is another part of compliment.

Its a total malicious, to kept people without giving him a try to defend himself.

Apart from this, I don't see a bond, rapport, liasion or something affiliate between preserving that act and the so called 'Daulat Tuanku'.

That is a different story, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it.

It means nothing!

Simple Good Luck!

2009-08-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

In order to dealing with obligation, always politics conclude our minds.

Can we start with concluding our minds?

Some say life is all about hypocrisy. I would be keen on see them diverse.

If hypocrisy is all lying in our psyche-tremendous-outlook, for me it is simple.

If you want to come late all the way just because you hate waiting, just be late. Dont fucking freaky come early and say life is so suck that you desperately affront the life you cheating everyone.

I am not good at many aspects, but I'm extremely dislike propagate tall tale about me myself.

Simple as that, life is not a hypocrisy mania.

The choice you make, would fluctuate your position and your thoughts.

If you choose to disapprove yourself, your obsession, your splendid intellectual enigma, then you choose to scrub out your talent.

Life is not easy, but to be a cool hypocrite person all these years, good luck to your life then!

Groovy Persona in 5 Years Part II

2009-07-18T05:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is 19th of July. Ultimatum of 5 years my study of teaching in 'maktab'. My first orientation where a week I have to hand out my handphone to my family. This is where I learn the word of 'restriction'.

It is supernatural for me then, when all of us have to keep our outing card at guard when we walk out, even if you want to buy a burger!

Obviously unusual when we have to be in class sharp 7.45 (eventhough until today I didnt obey this) in the morning, a mass gathering of every unit when it comes on Friday morning.

Sensual peculiar when every prayer time, each of us have to register ourselves on an attendance sheet, and I as an ex-exco there, is being scolded in front of people because my percentage of praying attendance at mosque is only 12%!

Irony then is, moreover all of this brand-new thingy happening, there is a beautiful incident too.

I discover my own potential, where I become a 'goalkeeper' for our unit football team, a position I dream of when I was a kid!

My first lesson which top of my list; if you believe in you, nothing will stop you!

This is a small fragment of that so-called change of persona in my life. I learn a lot there, which I'll write about it later in a slightly miniature fraction.

5 years back in 2004, I let my foot to stride my first step to be a teacher at Bangi, where I live there blissful ecstatic in a jovial manner 1 and half years later.

PPSMI - the damn who talking drivel!

2009-07-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

The obviously bad thing out there is, people talking and insulting without their knowledge.

What do they know exactly about PPSMI?

Do they really notice the main problem?

Which one do they really want to contemplate right now, purposely about the English gizmo or the Science and Maths matter?

They talking and recite nuisance beyond their skill.

If you want to talk, speak erudition please.

I do accept analysis and critical expansion of wisdom.

This is bad for our atmosphere, our scholar talking waste!

Women is not good to be teachers!

2009-07-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

Today is big day - a poor decent annoucement of 'deleting' PPSMI and some story of substandard of 'teacher' at school.

I'm not expecting this double packed action, but to be honest, I'm tired of that unscrupulous dialogue spoken from that 'teacher'.

I'll concentrating on my teachings, besides being bullied by them.

Bully is good, but when it comes in drama of these authenthic life, there's a way to control it.

Mefenamic acid is good, but deleting trojan-horse like this will kept it frozen unwise.

If obliterate PPSMI is like taking double dose of that Ponstan, just wait and feel the pain tomorrow.

2012 is tomorrow.

But tomorrow I still have to facing that psycho-literal 'teacher'.

This is bad for me. This is good either.

Groovy Persona in 5 years

2009-07-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

Its been 12.19 now. Tomorrow morning will be my first day to school, for the third and the last drive of my practicum.

This 19th of July, I've been 'schooling' in the world of 'maktab' in a groovy-psycho 5 years!

What can replace all this fondness tormenting space?

This is what i read last year, Paulo Coelho Alchemist excerpt;

“Because I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. You’ll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living right now.”

Yeah, its good to think forward. Future is virtous, but finally can we erase the narration of our own saga memoirs?

All these 5 years, I designated my own version of 'reality teachers'.

I will write about this annoyance nuisance in the so called of 'pelatih maktab' life and the mysterious formula of great changes in persona, later.

Addicted

2009-07-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

I've been taking dexchlopheniramine since I was 10. Its been 14 years now. Eventhough its evolve towards desloratadine, there's no way to delete this symptom.

If we want to talk about the product, last stage of that long way process, I will say it as a preferably addicted .

I wont say that I am addicted to that pills, but they will make me comfortable, eventhough sometimes it not.

So I will say, I really need that.

Because this life is so purely fugitively addicted, God send us some letter to conceive a life to remember.

Why would we race and chase after one another when we doesnt know we will win or not?

Simply because it is a process, so that we will gain a a good result than.

I've been taking beclomethason, since I was 12. 12 years later, I still have to live with it.

I've been saying, this drama would led us, frantically addicted towards ourselves.

'Short and Listed'

2009-06-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

What do you feel if your work is shortlisted for the best four, but fall for nothing, besides the three mega?

I was about to start a new job but my head is still thinking about that 'short and listed' thingy.

This is cruel, this is torturing me, hahaha.

Job

2009-06-29T20:56:00.000-07:00

I got this job-termonuclear reactor which should I finish it before the end of this month.

Is it familiar within the idea of reconstructuring the social contract by the famous Gramsci?

That reactor, set up by some philantrophist last week is seem to be quickgrab by others.

By the way, I got 5 chapter to think about. This is good for me, because time is still and the idea is moving.

Small Fibroma

2009-06-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

I learn, God will show the path if we sincere.

My experience, besides 'small fibroma', there's always good chance if we turn our face towards God and ask.

I'm kinda type of reality junk. In a life of a so called drama, there's no way to tell others that you have a secret wings.

The first place why should I set up blog like this is the main theme why should I pursue with my life.

Because character is rotating, others will play what you act today for tomorrows play.

But that tells you nothing. Idealist is still the main frame.

The great idealist is nothing to compare with reality.

Travelogue?

2009-06-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

Finally, I walked to the bus station from my house, about 5-6km!!

No offense, there is a car and a motor at my house. But when God tells you that you have no rights upon them, there is no chance.

It takes about 30 minutes for me to arrive.

This is weird. I know now that I dont have much capability to control everything.

Walk is good, but this 'travelogue' is far more than good for me.

Finally I have my much time to think about me, myself.

Friend is Good!

2009-06-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

In life, I dont have much to give. In fact, I really believe that this simple characterize enormously sometimes exaggerate ourselves, in time. I really meant it, but I dont know about others.

I dont have much friend. But God is Great, some of them were sent to make my life meaningful, whereas I dont have stamina to thank them all. This is much more absurd than what we were usually could think, that poeple simply choose their friends. I dont accept friends, they do accepted me as theirs.

The supremacy about friendship is powerful as the love is above them all. No surprise to see love inside friendship, but what I care most is the artificial intelligence between these ties. My analysis is simple, friendship is nothing because the line of the great love and the super-duper-power artificial intelligence is thin. We dont have the apparatus to separate the lines, which the parameter is too thin.

We dont know which friend is, very good to us this happy days would stab our back tomorrow. I dont know. But what I learnt most these days is, everyone is trying to fake themselves to give much more than they could.

My experience the very last week really shows me the truth of no surprise. This new lessons is revolt my velocity of paradigm, eventually everyone took their mask to play this theathre.

I do play as a beggar last week, when God teach me some of their great lesson. When you have no money, these real quantum will shows you which friends is good.

Friend is good, but some time God will reveal their mask, so that you could handle them carefully.

Chain Reaction

2009-06-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

One simple morning where i woke up at Medan, frequency lecture some sort of feeling - which i never felt here at Malaysia.

I became their biggest fan - together crying for the first time. That drama, led us think critically about the life either.

Cry is s single part, but crying together with the ocean - is absurd as business.

Medan for me is a great teacher, whereas people finally became theatrically personification. What irony most is, the show is never really ended.

Finally i rejuvenated with my concentration and realizes that life is much more to take, and people is less to give.

Talk tall but speak even, i dont have much to give. Life is hard there, whereas life is hard too here.

This psyche-drama is rotating.

Velocity

2009-06-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

If i have to describe what i learn't most at Medan, it is Velocity. From Polonia, Medani, Istana Maimun, Berastagi, Toba, Pulau Samosir, Ambarita even to Tomok, it all revolt velocity.

Really scared the world outside if you dont explore. The shadows behind you, like television, reflect the great indoors where you should go.

This is my third drive, after Padang and Mecca.

What i really learn is, history didnt tell us story. We ourselves, using history tu create the anonimity of our culture.

There, where the missing link is started, forensics adjourn.

Is really Batak linked with Jews?

Batak Karo

2009-06-09T01:28:00.000-07:00

My trip to Medan recently was successful as it were, trigger some sorts of issues and of course, alerts unquestionable propaganda towards some agenda.

There, when Brastagi, Sipiso-piso and Samosir broadened my views, lot of things happen between Malaysia and Indonesia.

Of course poeple were talking about Manohara, Ambalat and the Indonesian workers which died at the collapse of building in Selangor.

Much more to write about the trip, which is for me, it is a far more greater than what we were usually think when we in Malaysia.

Medan is as usual as it is, but we ourselves sometimes can be so Batak as the villagers at Samosir Island. Dont tell others about the rudeness of the villagers there. Think about ourselves first before than others.

PREROGATIVE: what it is?

2009-05-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

Illegally installed.

This is my version of prerogative.

This is my translation of the so called word 'prerogative'.

I don't care other version.

BACKWARD

2009-05-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

In life, dont expect nothing but absurd.

I do not teach liberalism or illuminati, but at this stage, i respectfully absorb much more life than the others.

Redeem ourselves like what we do is right, but others might think backward.

So what is right then?

CLOWN

2009-05-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

Simple drama.

A little bit action.

Absurd added.

This is what we called Dewan.

Dewan Undangan Negeri Perak.

A clown is simply replaceable by other clown.

PROMISES

2009-05-06T01:13:00.000-07:00

Hip-hip hooray to me. You talk to me in my sleep.

Finally someone's is hiding from me.

OBSCURANTISM

2009-05-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Recently i wrote about the 'Slumdog Makkal Shakti' at SOT.

My point is, whoever, whatever parties anyway should realize that the importance of people above all the others.

Here, reaching Mei 2009 i see nothing why people, the term 'Makkal Shati' should celebrating the tsunami of 8 March 2008.

I see it as simple as people like me still got nothing from that so called magic of the politics turnover.

Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat, should deliver to the poeple acting that concrete your performance, beside narrating rhetorics.

Nowadays, after a year people celebrating the winning of Pakatan Rakyat, people still have to queue as long as an hour for the hospital treatment, or anything referring with government.

Our transportation still nothing in a way to improvise. LRT, PUTRA or KOMUTER services still worst as before the tsunami.

Before talking about 1Malaysia i think that government (BN) or government in waiting (PR) should showed us the quality of the services itself.

Improvise is a small turnover that they could do. People like me should not waiting for to long for this.

People like me, 'rakyat marhaen' do have to feel the cosequences of this so called tsunami. We dont like our politicians only supply gimmicks like 'that man'.

We love the changes itself. Otherwise this real turnover could be a real come-back for tomorrow's general election.

Revolt

2009-05-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

Witch hunting is absolute definition for my campus wireless connection. Here, in a so called remote areas, where the word 'campus' is rarely used, people oftenly sweet surrender in a condition where dreaming is a reality.

This is where i kiss the fourth anniversary - i dont wanna close my eyes - surely because i missed the freedom.

And then i closely realize that this so called 'remote areas', here, where i usually reach my freedom. This anarchy, one sweetly dreaming of it and then another simplicity reaching is what i see as literature.

Literature, as i said befor, is life itself.

What we really need, is sometimes what we already have.

Here, i really need this connection called wireless. And my real hope is that i will never expect whatever tomorrow will bring.

End.

NUMERICAL CRISIS

2009-05-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

This is from Dr Mahathir; (via his blog)

1. Currency trading is another non-real contributor to the wealth of the rich countries. The trading again involves non-existent money. Banks would lend as much as 30 times the amount of investors' money held by the traders. The loan is again made up of bank created money. So also would be the investors' money if they borrowed from the banks.

2. The huge borrowings by the currency traders enable them to manipulate the market; pushing the value of the currency up or down. When the value of the currency changes the traders make a profit. Since the currency traders control trillions of dollars, their profits would be huge, and so would the dividends paid to the investors.

3. The trade in currency is estimated to be 20 times bigger than total world trade. The earnings per dollar invested would be higher than the dividends from production and trading in goods and provision of services. The investors and traders would therefore earn far more than what they would expect if they were to invest only the money they really have.

4. Individuals cannot borrow 30 times more than the money they have in order to invest. But currency traders can. Hence the investors' preference to invest with the currency traders.

5. The trade in currency is not in order to finance business or trade. It is for gambling on the appreciation or depression of the particular currency. Either way the bettor (trader) would make a profit. Since the profit is from 30 times more than the investors' money, both the traders and the investors would make far more than if they trade in the real amount invested.

6. The profits earned by the traders and the investors would one way or another go into the calculation of the GDP and per capita income of the country.

Then we have much more liberalisation from government towards the openness of the banking system, which is using Islamic System terms. I preferably see nothing in this new PM gimmicks.

Maybe what we should try out is closing much more entrance for the World Capitalism aka Illuminati to take our money out from this country.

Instead of open it now, because we ourselves too desperate for their numerical money.

I'M COMING BACK FROM THE DEATH

2009-05-02T01:03:00.000-07:00

The real fashion statements is a good provoking thoughts. I should try my best to make a wishlist here, so that i can remember some of it tomorrow.

Tomorrow isn't real. The real is a drama. And the drama is the one that contained a death wish, so that the future is not anymore a politics.

I feel that freedom is a thing - one people should cry for - and the absurd feeling that we emotionally need. But finally we forgot that the time will come, where freedom is no longer available.

I finally think that every day, every single minutes we staring at the oxygen we breath is a psychopath literature we live with. If we consider this psycho-act as an our culture, then we should accept that as an individual actor, we do recite our own life poems starring us in a drama called PSYCHODRAMA.